It’s officially the first full month of summer! July is filled with barbecues, pool parties and Firecracker popsicles, no secrets there. Although these things are usually specific to the summer months, dealing with people that don’t like you and apologizing when you’ve messed up are not specific to certain months and can happen at any time. Therefore, it’s only fitting that we cover them! Check them out because you may need this advice sooner rather than later!
Negative People Need Drama like Oxygen
We’re all different, which means we all like and dislike different things and people. This means that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay. Normally when you’re dealing with someone that doesn’t like you it’s easy to steer clear and avoid them. However, what do you do when you work with them? It’s not an ideal situation for most people so we put together ways to deal with that coworker or coworkers that don’t like you.
Choose Yourself First
When someone doesn’t like you, it’s your first instinct to pin it on them. It is human nature to think it’s ‘just because’ or that they’re jealous of you. Therefore, you have to try and think about what you could have done to cause them to dislike you. It could be something you’re not even aware of-like your tone of voice or that you’re overly competitive. In this situation, go to a coworker or even your boss if that’s who you can trust in the office. Why? Simply because they can provide a different viewpoint on how you come across to others. They may reveal something that you’re not aware of. This will help you address the problem and help you turn the work relationship around.
If the people you asked can’t provide any possible reasons on why you rub others the wrong way, that’s okay. Not everyone is going to like you, so it’s important to accept that. It could always be something as simple as you having different personalities. If you’re having a difficult time accepting it, just put yourself in their shoes. You have preferences on who you talk to and what you do, and so do they. It may not be personal, just a part of life.
Excellent Conquerors Do Not Engage
If this person is stooping to a premature level, the best thing to do is to stay out of it. It’s immature, childish and not meant for the workplace. A good strategy to use when you can see the conversation turning in a negative direction is to redirect it back to the origin. This keeps you on topic and out of trouble.
Feed Your Focus
It can be draining when dealing with a negative person so it’s important to refocus your energy on the positive people around you. Do whatever helps you focus in order to get yourself back to normal. Easy ways to refocus your energy are to take a walk, doodle or even unplug from your devices. Everyone’s different, so if these tactics don’t work, find something that does work for you!
Press the Reset Button
It may be difficult when you’re working with someone that doesn’t like you so it’s beneficial to act like nothing is wrong around them. If you have to ‘play dumb’ then play dumb. It is like pressing a reset button every day. Kindness is contagious so it’s always the best direction to go in when there’s a negative person around.
Lo Siento, Pardon, Sygnomi…
At one point or another you’re going to mess up. If you don’t, then you’re probably not human. Making mistakes is a normal part of life and it helps you learn and grow. However, sometimes you may make larger mistakes than others, which may call for an apology. You may think saying sorry is easy but there are ways that you can mess it up. To make sure you make the most of your apology check out the worst ways to apologize when you know you’ve messed up. You may be surprised at what you learn!
Is it too Late to Say Sorry?
Sure, when you mess up it’s always good to say sorry. However, if you say sorry and that’s it then you’re not looking so great. Give whomever you’re apologizing to a reason as to why you’re apologizing. If you don’t, then it could look like you’re just saying it because you know it’s the right thing to do. It’s not like you absolutely need to share your reasoning for your mishap but it’s a lot more believable and considerate if you provide more information.
Ruin an Apology With an Excuse
Apologizing is good. Apologizing with an excuse isn’t so good. Putting a “but…” after your apology essentially negates what you already said. An example of this would be “I’m sorry I said that to you, but you did provoke me to say it”. It comes across as you avoiding responsibility and blaming others for your actions. Therefore, it isn’t effective and won’t be taken seriously.
You Can Avoid Reality but Not the Consequences of Reality
Another no-no in making an apology is, well, not making an apology at all. In this scenario you don’t say you’re sorry at all but instead avoid the situation completely. Sure, it’s always awkward addressing a conflict and having a serious conversation about it but it is even more awkward to avoid it. This can leave an awkward tension in your environment until you actually do confront the problem.
“I’m the Worst”
Stop saying you’re the worst in your apology. It’s not like you committed some major crime and got convicted for it. If you just missed a meeting or submitted a project late, sure, you messed up but you’re not the worst. Just because you say you’re the worst doesn’t mean the problem isn’t going to happen again or erase what happened in general. It can also come across as if you’re trying to get an ego boost by getting someone to comfort you about it. Moral of the story, watch your word choice and own up to it when you mess up.